1 Year Post Duodenal Switch

Coped from my update post at BariatricFacts as Im lazy and busy studying (or not studying as the case usually is)

It has been a CRAZY year!

First off, I must apologise for not being as active and supportive around here as I would like to be. I’m doing/trying to do a Bachelor Honours degree and I spend most of my time on the sofa panicking about the papers I should be writing, lol. The life of a student! I am considering taking a break from my studies though, so we shall see! If only there was an app for the forums that begged for my attention the way FB does 😉

So lets see. This time last year I had just been taken to theatre (the OR). I don’t remember the song that was playing but I remember dancing on the table to the song as they put me under. I was so scared yet at peace with my decision that I knew whatever happened, good or bad, this was the only chance I had to be who I wanted to be, with the life I wanted to have.

If you are new around here…..as in….joined in the last EIGHT months (it’s been a while since I had a nosy!) and you don’t know my story…here is a quick run down. Im a yank, in the UK. Always been super obese. Graduated high school over 450lbs. Had the DS in two stages as by the time I admitted I needed WLS and it wasn’t this evil plot to “kill the fatties”, I had reached 644lbs. Add to that that most of my weight is in the belly, this meant that even with a top surgeon, it was too risky for a DS in one go. Had sleeve Aug 2010 and had my DS a year ago today. I am now 324lbs. 2lbs to go until Im half the woman I was.

So, my DS. It was a rough start. I had many complications even after sailing through the VSG at my top weight. My Op was textbook, until I started to bleed out an hour or two after my op. I was rushed back into surgery and due to the urgency of the situation, I was sliced open from one side to the other (incision was over a foot long to start and heaven know’s how deep). They were able to stop the bleed and get me sorted. However, I then failed to wake up from anaesthesia. I was out for 6 days. They were at the point where brain scans were being considered to see if I was still alive or if I was a vegetable. It never came to that as I did come around before the scan, demanding ice chips!

It wasn’t over for me though. The wound got infected whilst I was in never never land. This meant that the wound had to be ripped open (whilst I was away thankfully) and wet packed with IV antibiotics. A wound cannot be restitched as I found out. I was left with a open wound that finally healed less than 2 weeks ago. For nearly a year I had nurses coming around to change dressings and all the fun stuff. There were wound vacs and all sorts, but it still took a YEAR. (This mean no exercise for me as I am very disabled and can only do water exercises…can’t get into water with an open wound!)

I also woke up to severe carpal tunnel in my left hand. I could not feel anything in my ass wiping hand!!!!!!!!! Ugh. That was one of the most troublesome and heartbreaking complications (to me). I had no feeling, no strength, and at times the hand would burn, sting and tingle. I couldn’t even hold a pencil. This has also improved. My GP gave my a cortisone shot in my wrist late last summer. I thought it hadn’t worked, but little by little I was able to feel and do things again. It was such a slow process that I didn’t even notice it until the hubz asked how my hand was as I hadn’t mentioned it in a while. So glad I have both hands again!!!!

Then there was the nerve tingling/burning in my right thigh. I still have that at times but it is not chronic like it was for the first 9 months or so. I have hope that it will continue to get better!

So those were some of the challenges I had directly resulting from the operation itself. Now for the DSer bits 😉

Codeine. Codeine used to be my saving grace. (2 types of arthritis, hips shot to hell, etc) Post DS, I could OD on codeine (the good stuff, pure codeine, not the stuff you get in the USA mixed with stuff) and I got minor relief. I put up with this a lot longer than I should have as I was afraid to try stronger medication. Better the devil you know and all that jazz. Well, I bit the bullet and am now on Fentanyl 50mcg/h patches and they are AWESOME! I have some sort of mobility back without crying and punching the walls out of frustration (yes, that really happened!) They also don’t make me giddy and high feeling like codeine, which is awesome as Im too old for that shit lol.

Poop. I had poop issues. Really urgent, loose, poop issues. I have those sorted now, just needed a bit more carbs (won’t work for any one else, just ME. Do NOT try carbs at home!) I’m going like clockwork now, even a bit better than pre op if you can believe it.

Vits. It took me a while to get the hang of things. I thought I would never ever understand the required vits. It was overwhelming to me every time I looked at Vitalady’s schedule. Through this experience, I have realised I learn by doing. Reading and hearing just confuses me even more. I had to sit down and do it. The first time I sorted my monthly vits its took nearly 3 hours. Not kidding!!!! However, by month 4 or 5 I could easily do it without the cheat sheet and I was a bit faster each time. Now, sorting my vits for the month takes about an hour, including getting everything out and opening all the slots. And I can do all of this whilst watching South Park without the cheat sheet. It does get better and easier. I’ve been a little nutty about my vits. In the past year I have missed a total of 3 days, but I made up the doses (if thats even possible lol) by adding in extras the next day. Im a bit anal about my vits if Im honest. Malnutrition scares the shit out me!

So, it a nutshell, I have been to hell and back and never regretted my DS for a second. No buyers remorse, no regrets, no woulda shoulda couldas from me. I don’t even regret having the DS in two stages as living with a sleeve taught me valuable lessons. I toughed out my sleeve, refusing to give up on hope and that taught me patience, perseverance, self acceptance and self LOVE. My DS has allowed me to be a bit less frantic in dieting although I do have to monitor things a bit more than other DSers. I don’t care 🙂 This is my journey to walk and it’s a pretty unusual journey on a hardly trodden path, so I find what works for ME and I do that….and if it stops working, I find something ELSE…and do THAT 🙂

To celebrate my surgiversary today, I went to physical therapy, breakfast and then SWIMMING!!!!! yay! Physical therapy is now over for me. i graduated, yay lol. She was impressed by my improvements and self motivation and wasn’t sure what she could offer someone to driven so she let me go on my way. Breakfast could have been better!!!! I had tiny tummy syndrome today! Went to breakfast buffet and managed 1 sausage and 2 egg yolks. Meh. Still worth £4 🙂 The swimming was AWESOME! I forgot how much I loved being in the water, but as I got in I had the hugest, stupidest grin on my face! Was truly fantastic! Looking forward to a lot more time in the pool to help me get stronger as being bed bound for 4 months and housebound for a year does pretty shit things to your muscles!

Here is my latest full length pic taken in January 2015 🙂

Anyways, there it is! I’m doing FANTASTIC!!! Losing slowish but still losing and VERY happy! I leave you with this meme that describes my journey. Im not perfect, my life isn’t easy, but dammit I never ever give up!!!

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I Procrastinate!

It’s that time again when I should be doing a report, but instead I have watched 5 episodes of South Park, have checked my empty email like 10 times, and afterI’m done babbling here, I plan on doing a Tesco shop! Gotta love online grocery shopping!

I struggled to sleep last night. Finally dozed off about 1am, waking an hour before the alarm. So I’m running on 4 hours sleep and a protein coffee. There are bound to be typos in this post so I ask for your forgiveness now!

This time of year always makes me homesick. But I am homesick for a home that no longer exists. My parents divorced when I was 24 and Im nearly 37 now, but I still can’t wrap my head around it completely. It’s just weird to have so many family memories around the holidays and when I come to from a flashback of the good times, it’s like a slap in the face with a wet, smelly fish. I miss it. As dysfunctional as it all was, it was home. *sigh* I have no idea if I would be better adjusted if my parents had split when we were all kids, all I know is it is pretty fucked up in my head…..still. Part of it could be the mormon upbringing I had that families are together forever no matter what.humph. You all don’t care about all of this lol so sorry! I can’t really regret anything though because if anything was different in the past, things could/would be different now. You know, butterfly flaps it’s wings, causes hurricane type shit lol

I’m so not feeling the holidays this year. I’ve been through so much with my surgery and nearly dying that I’m just happy to be alive, no need for material gifts and such. Normally I am begging to put up the tree and lights, blasting christmas music, but I’m just not there, at all. I hope that changes a bit as I do have a stepson to put on a happy face for. Fake it til you make it, right? blah. bah humbug lol. Christmas is all about kids anyhow and he is now 12….so not long before he’s a grumpy teenager ignoring all of us old people haha.

His birthday was earlier this month and to celebrate we went to Cardiff Comicon. It was pretty cool. Being in a wheelchair puts you at an unfortunate level with dirty nerd boy pits, but other than that I did enjoy the spectacle. It was a lot of people though. Dang. Thankfully I knew someone working a stall so I had a hideout away from the crowd. I don’t like crowds, not even a little. I enjoy people watching but from afar….very very far lol

Whilst in Cardiff I was able to do bit of shopping. Got some size 28 jeans and I fit into an xxL shirt from HMV. Made my day! i still fell like a fat cow out in public, but less of a circus show, which is awesome. I cannot wait until I just blend in and can go around unnoticed by the masses. It’s interesting how things have already changed in regard to how people treat me and I’m still 350ish…..that should give some insight into the fact that those under 500lbs have NO IDEA how the world treats someone of that size. And I was/am a decently confident person, so my attitude hasn’t changed except as a reflection of how I am actually perceived. Going to be interesting how much different things will be at 250ish. I will be sure to report back 🙂

I think it is time for a new side by side (posted on social media a few weeks ago whilst I neglected by blog! boo!!!) But here is the superman shirt I got at HMV and my size 28 jeans

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Posted in DS, Duodenal Switch, Life, WLS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Reverting back…

It has been an age and a half since I posted here, or anywhere other than a specific social media site.  I have come to the conclusion that taking part in that aspect of social media kills any and all creativity because I post any thoughts I have, leaving me with nothing new to blog about or speak to my family about.  The solution is simple. Quit! I deleted one chirpy account a while ago as I just found it a profound waste of time.  The other site though I cannot delete as all of my family back in the US use it to keep in touch, so for now, I am on a social media “fast” lol.  I am still contactable via the messenger but I am refusing to use the website.  I find myself annoyed by the preaching of politics and this that or the other and the grammar. Dear god, do not get me started on the lack of grammar or I will never shut up! haha.  So here I am, 3 days into my social media fasting and ready to blog 🙂

Weight wise I am a bit stuck.  I keep waving from 346-352 back and forth! I am so close to -300 and I just can’t seem to get there!!! grrrr.  I still….STILL have a wound from my op in February though it is pretty small now.  It should be healed up by Christmas!!! Ugh.  First I was told I would be healed by summer, that came and went, then I was told October, and well…it is November now! So I have been told I will not need to see nurses after Christmas.  I seriously hope that is true!!!!  I feel like a lump on the sofa not being able to work out in the pool.  Sure, I can do little things here and there, but not a proper weight loss inducing workout 😦 boohoo.  Fingers crossed that changes very soon!

Since the last update I saw the bariatric dietician again, though it was a different one.  It was not a positive experience.  The bitch cannot read!!! Since my last appointment a month prior I had lost 4kg, but because the bitch was stupid, she said I had lost nothing. Then when I tried to correct her, she spoke over me asking how I thought I was doing!!!! ugh! total cuntrag!  So I went off the rails for a while with self hatred even though she was WRONG!!!! I received a letter a month later with a one sentence apology. Fuck her.  I am going to request to never see the illiterate bitch again! Fuck you if you read this! LEARN TO READ!!!!

But I’m not bitter lol. Not at all 😉

I have started physical therapy, which is very basic at the moment as I still cannot stand up straight and have to walk with a walking stick.  I feel so friggen cripple!!! But all is going well with that and Im a star pupil (teachers pet) with my PT.

I’m also on new pain killers. Codeine just was’t cutting it anymore so I went to a pain management guy.  He and my GP decided on the BuTrans patches for me as they are absorbed through the skin instead of the GI tract.  So far, so good.  I’m on the 20’s and staying there until the new year.  We were upping my doses every 3 days and due to the drowsiness I was sleeping my life away. I have been on the 20’s just over 2 weeks and Im starting to settle in.  The pain isn’t gone but it is manageable and I don’t feel super high like I did on codeine! It’s a win-win for me.

I also started my new module(course) for my degree. My first level 2 in the UK and my first assignment scored a First (A).  It’s a good start, just hope I can keep it up!  Study is also why I felt the need to give social media a miss.  I waste sooooooo much time! On the laptop, on my phone, on the desktop….it’s a distraction EVERYWHERE!!!  And come February I will be studying the equivalent of full time.  Two modules on the go at once! I need to be focused. Giving up social media was all around a good idea for me.  I will also be posting more of my thoughts here (lucky you haha!)

So to recap, weight loss is going, slowly, but will improve once I am healed and working my bum off; one of the dieticians doesn’t know her arse from a hole in the ground; I am doing awesome at physical therapy and studying. yay me! 🙂

Posted in arthritic hips, arthritis, Diet, Disability, Disabled, DS, Duodenal Switch, Facebook, joint pain, Losing Weight, osteoarthritis, Pain, WLS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bariatric Dietician

On Friday I saw the dietician for my weight loss surgery team for the first time EVER.  I admit I was nervous I was going to be told I wasn’t doing well enough….I’m a tad hard on myself.

To my surprise I was praised up one side and down the other.  I was told I am doing fantastic and MUCH better than is expected for someone who had the duodenal switch in two stages very far apart.  That made me smile…a lot 🙂 Since Feb 18th I have lost 23% of excess weight for a total of 63% of excess gone since my sleeve. yay me!

Then came the chat about vitamins.  I was very honest but was afraid I would get told off for supplementing so much. BUT, I showed her my chart and my schedule and she applauded my proactive attitude to nutrition.  Seriously, I felt like teachers pet! ha.  She also took down VitaLady’s website addy to check out later.  It’s so rare for a nutritionist/dietician to be so willing to learn new things.  Seriously was a breath of fresh air.

She took notes about my diet which I was very honest about.  (I don’t deal in bullshit, rainbows OR unicorns…no need to lie or sugarcoat!)  I admitted I am addicted to Dr Pepper Zero….no lie lol…that stuff is my new crack!  Pre op, I was all about Pepsi Max but my tastebuds have changed an now it just tastes like messed up lemons lol.  Also confessed about chocolate…which ALSO doesn’t taste right.  Soooo weird!  But again I was told I was doing fantastic and my diet is pretty good even considering the PMS binges I admitted to.  I was an open book.  We discussed my eating disorder and the possible need for counselling in my area, though she did admit finding someone who specialises in obesity/weight loss is tricky.

So yay…gold star for me!!!

And..when I found out why my surgery took so long, it just made me more, MUCH MORE determined to prove everyone wrong…and now, my surgeon is at the top of the list of people I am determined to prove wrong.  Statistically, I am already a WLS success….but I am not even close to done.  I will do this.  I AM doing this!

Oh and Im down to 367lbs.  That is just NUTS!  I was 644lbs when I began this crazy journey. I love life! 🙂

 

Suck it haters. 😉

Posted in Binge Eating Disorder [BED], Diet, DS, Duodenal Switch, FAT, Food, Health, Losing Weight, Obesity, Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, VSG, Weight Loss, WLS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jealousy is Ugly

Well well well.  So it turns out, supposedly, that my last surgery took so long as there were people stirring the pot.  Fair enough, stir away.  Success cannot be stopped. 🙂 Enjoy your sad lives, which will never ever be as fulfilling as mine is I am sure. I hadn’t given you a second thought until I heard about this, but it proves you still think about me all the time. Awwww. I feel so obsessed about haha

 

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“Of Two Minds”

I just watched this documentary on netflix…like it just ended this moment and I feel I need to write about it whilst it is still fresh in my mind.

I am bipolar.  I have never denied it.  It has been used against me more than once. I have been on several meds, some of which caused severe weight gain.  Not fun. In fact it made my depressive symptoms a million times worse.

So, this film…it was like looking into a mirror and realising a bunch of shit I keep tucked away in the closet as to appear like a normal, functioning adult.  I do a very good job.  The hubs helps of course, I’ve never been so stable, but still, hearing other people talking about “faking normal” made me realise I do that VERY WELL.

One thing that was mentioned in the film was seeing shadows.  I had forgotten this part of my life COMPLETELY!  But starting when I was about 6 years old, I used to see shadows out of the corner of my eye that would follow me everywhere but the minute I tried to look directly at it/them, it would vanish….until next time.  Thankfully, I out grew that, but that means my first symptom of bipolar was a 6 fucking years old.

Things only got worse and with an overly protective (?) mother it was difficult.  I used to just cry and cry and sob and sob.  I couldn’t pin point what was wrong but I felt so deeply hopeless and helpless and DIFFERENT.  These long tearful episodes started probably at around age 10.  My mother would badger me “What’s wrong?”  I would say “I don’t know” and this would repeat until she would angrily storm out of the room yelling “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you!”  Fair enough, that is a rational statement. However, nothing was “wrong” except that I felt like I was being swallowed by a giant black hole.

This disturbs me.  You mean I have been “ill” all my fucking life??? So, everything I have done, or have failed to do, has been defined by an illness? FUCK THAT!

Another part of the documentary that rang true to my life is the love/sexual identity conflict.  I am not very sexually attracted to men (to put it lightly)…genitals of either sex make my stomach turn but yay boobies lol.  But one of the women was a lesbian but fell in love with a man.  I completely relate to that.  I fell in love with a person whose soul speaks to my own in ways I cannot describe. That person just happens to have a body part that looks like an elephant trunk.  No body is perfect right?  But I LOVE him, I ADORE him, even the annoying things are cute….still…even after 7 years of marriage.

So yeah.  I’m a mixed up girl.  Or I WAS a mixed up a girl.  I have been very stable since 2010 on nothing other than a mild dose of anti depressants.  I have my moments, but the hubs keeps me grounded.  He MAKES me go to bed most of the time lol.  Of course he doesn’t force me, but he tries to talk me into keeping a somewhat normal schedule as sleep is important for stable mental health.  There are still times when I am awake 36 hours a time….insomnia has always been an issue for me, but for the most part we go to bed and get up together.

I don’t talk about this shit much, because I have heard things ranging from “You aren’t bipolar”, “You don’t seem bipolar”, “Stay away from me/my family/my child, you crazy bitch”.  So yeah, I tend to not speak about it.  But I’m stable now, going on 4 years, which is a huge fucking deal for a non-medicated bipolar.

I’m lucky I have a supportive GP who trusts me to come to her when things go a little off centre…and I have done…which is how I am now on sertraline (Zoloft).  I am also lucky to have a partner who is the complete opposite of crazy but is so supportive and understanding.  When world have failed me, he has held me. When I was in a rage, he respected my needs not to be touched by anyone.  I really couldn’t ask for a better partner, even if he is a HE lol.  I love him to bits!

I’m signing off now.  I feel raw, and exposed.  If you wanna know a little what being bipolar is like, then watch the film “Of Two Minds”.  Of course if you aren’t bipolar you will never know how high the highs are nor how soul destroying the lows are…but you might get an idea that we are people…..everyone has issues….and bipolar is mine.

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar II, Depression, Depressive, Health, Mania, Manic, Manic Depression, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

4 Months post DS

So here I am! Still alive a kickin, 4 months after my duodenal switch.

Things are going very well.  I am down to 368lbs now and have gotten my itty bitty brain around all the vits and supplements I need to remain healthy after such severe malabsorption.

I have my first ever consult with a bariatric dietician…which I am both excited and irked about.  I have gotten this far without so much as a handout from my team, so eff them if they think they can tell me something I do not know.  But, I am going along in an attempt to play ball like a good little patient…but seriously?!  I’ve lost more than 270lbs without their helps so what do they want from me?  I do not need their advice.  I researched and prepared for both of my ops for years and know enough DS vets who have educated me beyond what a bariatric dietician can.

My hand if still effed up. I got a shot in my wrist on the 6th of June. I was told it could take up to a month to see if it will even work.  If not, its surgery. ugh.  Carpal tunnel is no joke, I always thought it was a bit of pain, but no….my freaking hand tingles and is useless.  When I wash my hands I cannot even feel the water touch my fingers.  SUCKS!  But at least it isn’t super serious or life threatening.

My wound is healing at super sonic speeds.  I may be off the PICO pump by next week.  Then it’s just a matter of keeping it covered until it scabs over and heals all the way.  I can’t wait! All this time I have been unable to drive and am mostly housebound…which kinda sucks..but I have discovered Orange is the New Black so at least Im occupied for a minute 🙂

Food wise, I have pushed boundaries and figured what I can and can’t eat without repercussions.  It turns out, the healthier the carb, the more I will suffer.  I can eat a cookie and might get a bit of gas. I eat a small bowl of oats and I pray for death for 16 hours.  Soooo seeing as evil fattening carbs seem ok, I steer WAYYY clear of them.  It would be all too easy to get off track.  And I seriously want to see the 200’s by christmas. And carbs will not help me get there.

Life is pretty good.  Still no regrets or buyers remorse.

Hope all is going well for all of you 🙂

And here is a pic of my vits I take 🙂 Hopefully it is legible.

 

Vits Chart

Posted in DS, Duodenal Switch, Losing Weight, Low carb, Meat, Obesity, Weight Loss, WLS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hola! :)

Hello my followers and random readers! 🙂

Well….not a lot has changed haha.  I still am dealing with my large wound, though it is a lot smaller. yay!  I’m on a PICO which is like a mini wound vac…but not.  It’s about the size of an old-school pager and fits in my pocket.  The yucky stuff just gets sucked into a dressing.  The nice bit is, nurses are only coming twice a week. 

Sucks that I still can’t drive though. boooooo! The weather here in England has been super nice lately and I would love nothing more than to take a drive, alone, windows down and music up.  It’s just not the same with the hubs driving lol.  He talks…A LOT! lol

The weight is still going down (as it should lol)  And I will attach a new comparison pic at the bottom of this post.

I’m struggling mentally though.  It’s not depression…..it’s more like identity confusion.  Like, who the hell am I and how do I fit into this crazy world I have never really been a part of?  So, I think I’m going to ask for a referral to some counselling.  I found a place that deals with bariatric patients in my area.  I just can’t really explain what my head is doing!  I haven’t been this weight (380) since I was 13/14….and at that point in my life I was an awkward lost teenager…..and I kinda feel like I’m slipping back into that confusion. So instead of trying to figure it out myself, I am going to seek help.  I keep eating things I have no desire for….I don’t want it, it doesn’t taste good, it’s bad for me and yet I still eat it.  My brain is trying to sabotage me, so I need to sort this sooner, rather than later.  I WILL DO THIS!!!! 

Had a check up on the 27th of May and my team is super impressed with my progress, so its not like I’m failing, just more like flailing about like a fish out of water.  I see the team again on the 20th of June and I should know if my blood tests came back normal.  Post-DS the whole vitamin situation can be confusing, so I am curious to see where my levels are and if anything needs tweaking. 

Life is pretty good 🙂 Hope things are going well for you too!

 

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Comparison April 2014

Comparison April 2014

245lbs Down

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I lived….just!

I had my op on Feb 18th and had a million complications.  It did not look very good at all.  My ever the optimist hubz was actually worried and thinking about how to get on with life without me. Yeah, it was bad.

Feb 18th, we drove to London and checked in for my op.  In the afternoon I was wheeled down to theatre (the OR) and got on the table.  I don’t remember the song that was playing but I remember dancing whilst they put me to sleep.  I was excited and hopeful as in my mind I was either going to live and be out in a couple of days or die and that would be the end.

Well….yeah no.  My laparoscopic op was over at 11pm.  By 2am on the 19th I was rushed back into theatre and cut open as I was losing masses of blood and the stats were tanking.  I had several blood infusions whilst they found the bleed and fixed me up.

Then I got a massive life-threatening infection in the open wound.

I did not regain consciousness until day 6. And then I was in ICU for 2 weeks, hallucinating the whole time.  Morphine is not my friend!  I saw things and spoke to people and had all sorts of experiences that never really happened!  I still do not know what really went on and how much was just in my head.  It really was scary to feel so out of control of my mind.  And if another nurse asked me “if I was feeling ok” I was going to punch in the grill.

I was bed bound for over two weeks.  You have no idea how much muscle strength you lose after a short time.  I have never felt so weak in my entire life.  I was more immobile than I ever was at my highest weight.  Every day I get stronger, but I’m still not where I was.

As far as complications go, that is not all.  I have also lost the use of my left hand except for my pinky and ring finger.  The rest of the hand has been taken over by neuropathy.  A burning, pins and needles, electric shock type pain.  It really sucks.

Do I regret it? Do I have buyers remorse?  I keep thinking I should after all that has gone wrong, but I cannot bring myself to regret the surgery.  I was at a stalemate with my weight loss as was fighting the same 30lbs over and over again.  Unable to lose more weight meant I was stuck with my broken hips forever. My future was bleak and permanent disability and homebound-ness was a sure thing.  For those reasons I cannot regret doing this.

I still have 2 wounds.  One is a stubborn lap one in my belly button that has caused all sorts of trouble.  And then my huge open wound, which IS healing, just not as fast as I would prefer.

And all of this time, I have had to sleep on my back.  I am a side/tummy sleeper…so this has been miserable. Last night, for the first time I slept on my tummy…it was blissful sleep but I woke up in agony.  I couldn’t move.  My back is a mess.  I cried like a baby as my hubz gave me pain killers and helped me to the loo and back.  Then he put icy/hot on it.  omg.  I feel so broken.

The great news in all of this is that I am now below 400lbs.  JUST!  A couple of days ago my weight was 398.6.  It’s amazing!  I never thought I would see that number.  I am hopeful that I will be in the 200’s by Christmas.

I am finding the vitamin/supplement schedule a bit of a learning curve, but I learn by doing…and it is going well.  I haven’t gagged or been sick over the huge horse pills, and I get at least 150g of protein a day so my risk of a life threatening deficiency is low and will remain low as long as I keep it up.

So yeah. I am alive, I just find it hard to type with one hand and a pinky.  Life will get better. 🙂 I hope I am healed by summer so I can enjoy BBQs with my family 🙂

PS-sorry about any typos….my left hand issue REALLY REALLY sucks!!!!!

 

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