Ugh…Things Haven’t Gone to Plan

Sooooooo, after my last update, my incision opened…massively. I’ve been dealing with a huge wound since middle of August. There was serious tunnelling/undermining of the apronectomy line. Ernies line is a fading scar now, but as I sit here, I am awaiting the district nurses to come dress my wound. I was on their daily schedule, I’ve had a wound vac etc but now I am down to 2 days a week. YAY!

OMG. This has been a disheartening nightmare. I don’t post much frustration on FB for those who know me there as I try so hard to keep positive.  It has been REALLY tough on me to have this set back. Not only do I have an open wound (no pool, no gym as you get hot and sweaty requiring dressing changes), but I also had to increase calories and protein.  I don’t even know where to begin really.

I did hit an all time low weight of 232, but that was short-lived once my wound opened up. I was told to get minimum 200g of protein and minimum 3000 absorbable calories. Yeah, that fucked things up real quick! I’m so discouraged and disappointed to see 250 on the scales again.  I can easily say ‘it’s not my fault, I had to’ and it is true, I had to feed woundzilla and I can see how it helped as she is pretty shallow now, but DAMN. I feel so shitty and like I have failed. I know I can and will get back down to at least 235 as I felt pretty damn good there, but the feeling of failure is real. It’s not my fault, it’s not fair, but I still feel it is ALL my fault. bleh.

So in good news, there is SOME lol. I finally got around to getting my British Citizenship 🙂 I now have dual nationality. That’s pretty cool, right?  My immiversary is coming up on Dec 13th….10 years I have been here! That’s crazy. Those 10 years have gone by crazy fast.

Here is a pic from my citizenship ceremony in Sept 🙂 14364742_10153718804202676_4773583719617300272_n

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