Where to start? Let’s start with weight. My last update I was back up to 462lbs, then I got weighed at my surgeons office on Feb 8th and was up to 466.4lbs. If there is one thing I have learned about weight loss journy THIS time, is to never lose sight of the prize. EVEN if it is all going tits up and you can’t seem to stop it. I have learned that if I keep my eye on the prize, my mental sabotage will subside eventually and I will make it some day. This is an important lesson. A lot of people see a 1lb gain and quit. I gained like 15lbs, but I knew in my heart of hearts I would get it back together. This weight loss shit is a lot more mental than physical…people don’t realise that! Now, to report todays weight…its good. It’s REAL GOOD! I’m down to 451lbs. My lowest yet! I knew it would happen and I kept the faith!
Now back to my surgeons appointment on Feb 8th. I saw my actual surgeon…the rock star in the FLESH! It was amazing to get feedback that i have done amazingly well for my circumstances (which are: obesity since infancy, being female, having pcos, starting at 644lbs and only having a sleeve gastrectomy). Even though I was 466 that day and I knew in my heart of hearts is way going a bit pear shaped for me, it was great to hear the man himself say I had done better than he expected 🙂 So yay! I don’t feel like I have done that well, but then again I am a perfectionist that seeks approval from those in positions of authority. A personality flaw of mine!
We discussed surgical options. (RNY vs DS) he bluntly told me that in my position (still very heavy) and RNY after a sleeve would not help me lose more than 10kg ( 22lbs….which is not worth the risk!) And said although the DS [duodenal switch….google is your friend!) is risky, it is the best bet. I am in a good position for the DS as I can easily eat 100+ grams of protein a day which is essential to avoid nutritional issues. Surgery is surgery and they are both scary….so i might as well face the scary that has the potential to change my life completely. He reckons I will be done within the year…so here is hoping!
For those of you new to my blog…it isn’t fatness I am trying to change (well it IS, but not because of fatness!) Both of my hips and both of my knees are gone….not in the complaining over exaggerating way, in the real, I-have-the-xrays-to-show kind of way. I have ZERO cartilage in my hips the bones rubs together with every movement and create inflammation. My knees aren’t any better. I am 34 and have been told I can get my hips replaced as soon as I hit a BMI of 40….so thats my goal. I don’t care about thinness or even the hoards of clothes…I care about not being in pain every second of every day. THIS is the reason I am taking the risk of more surgery. If I did not have chronic pain, I probably wouldn’t bother and would keep going on my own, but I cannot wait 10 years to do something about these goddamn hips!
So anyways….I’ve been a busy bunny! Yesterday had an appointment with my GP, who is expecting!!!! I’m going to miss her, but she will be back. I took her a list of labs/scans I will need post op as well as all the vits I will need on prescription that way if I have my op while she is off, anyone can look at the notes and see what support I need. Today I had the weight loss nurse. Tomorrow, hubz is picking up a car (I do not share well, lol, and was tired of him moving stuff around in my car!!!) Sunday is rest day. Monday I am going out with friends to Longleat (a safari park). Going to be fun! Taking the wheelchair (and lots of codeine!) as I’m not really sure what there is to do there, but I’m going to have an awesome time, I just know it! Tuesday I have an online friend from the UK Charity HOOP (Helping Overcome Obesity Problems) coming over for coffee and a natter. Wednesday I have GCSE maths review for the test the first week of march…and then I have to do a TMA for one of my OU courses by the 15th of March and another by the 25th. Ok now that I have written it all out I feel kinda stressed lmao. yikes!
My life is pretty busy at the moment, but I am coping. 🙂 The sun was out Monday-Wednesday and I got some gardening done. It really does take a strong sense of humour to be me. Monday I went to B&Q and picked up some seeds and some flowers. I didn’t even browse the store..and it killed me, I was done for the day. Tuesday I sat outside and planted things in pots and planted roughly 5 flowers in the ground. Super killed me. Wednesday was much easier….sat outside and put dirt in my little propagators and fiddled with tiny ass strawberry seeds. All these things I could have got my hubz to do in less than 30 minutes, but there is a stubborn streak in me that wants to push myself to do as much as I can for myself….even though I end up in tears due to pain, I can still say *I* did that. I don’t think you can understand unless you have had limited mobility, but there is pride to be had in doing the smallest of things for yourself.
So yeah, England had 3 days of sun, I hope that isn’t all we get for spring! I miss sunshine! I hope you all are doing well!
PS- don’t know if i mentioned but psoriasis is 99% gone. I only have it on my scalp and one small bump on elbow. Being gluten free has cleared me, my whole trunk and arms were covered!