Welp, it’s been a while. I’ve been struggling mentally and physically. England had a cold snap and some snow and omg, my hips were killing me! I cried more than once due to the pain. When my head is elsewhere, trying to deal with chronic pain, my diet seems to suffer. I concentrate on making it through the day alive, rather than making healthy choices. Thus, I have to report, I have gained weight. I am back up to 462. Damn.
If there is one thing I have learned through this journey, is that if you don’t give up during the tough times, the motivation will return and weight loss will continue. It’s February today. It’s a month of happiness and sadness. My 6 year wedding anniversary is coming up, happy times. But it is also 6 years since I was hospitalised with an ectopic pregnancy, 12 weeks along. It’s tough. I will get through it, as I have for the past 5 years, but the experience was a little traumatic. I was in a country where I only knew one person, my husband, and I was being told there was a good chance I wasn’t going to live through it. Needless to say, the thought of having a baby of my own does not rate highly on my to-do list.
I see my surgical team next Friday. Hopefully, finger-crossed and all that, I will get an idea of when I can have my next op as I have been on the waiting list since Aug 2011 I’m leaning towards the DS again….only because it can be easily un-done if things were to go wrong, heaven forbid. I guess I just have to see what the surgeon says. All I know is I need more help shifting a large amount of weight. The good news is, last time I was them I was 217kg and this time I will be at least 209kg if not lighter. So, lighter is always good.
I wish I had some great motivating news, but I don’t. I’m struggling physically and ever day is spent in a lot of pain. I will keep on, keeping on….still logging my food, but that’s about as far as it goes right now.
oh and P.S. my psoriasis is now all gone. Has been for a couple of months. Going gluten free cleared it all within 3 months 🙂