The scale, it calls to me like a Siren bathing nude in a rocky river. I am doing my best to resist. Everyone who has ever tried to lose weight knows the body naturally fluctuates day to day and anything and everything can effect the outcome. It has been a few days since I stepped upon the black cold platform to learn of my new found relationship with gravity. It is only a week until I go to my GP to be weighed by the weight loss nurse. I am trying to hold out. The last thing I want is a great number now and then a crap number at the GP. My pattern thus far has been: big loss, big loss, little loss, gain…repeat. Soooo, I am due a gain and I want to put off the knowledge as long as I can. Even still, the scale calls to me.
Most people with an eating disorder also have an unhealthy relationship with the scale. I can’t say why this is, as I do not care enough to do in-depth research on the psychology of one who is effected by eating disorders relationship with the scale and body image. You will just have to take my word for it. Before I started seeing the weight loss nurse, I would step on my scale no less than 3 times a day. It is unhealthy to care that much about the hour to hour fluctuations of ones body relative to gravitational pull.
I am more than a number on a scale. We all are. That number should not define us, nor be a predictor of the good or bad day we will have. I continue to resist.