I must admit, I have felt better.
I’m so down right now it is insane. Medical peeps would probably put it down to bipolar, but when it too much to handle? I just realised my BMI has not been below 40 since I was younger than 2 years old. I now need to get to a bmi of 40 for a double hip replacement as the amount of pain I am in is nearly intolerable. At what point is suicide justified?
I know people who have lost weight. All of these people GOT fat. I never GOT fat…I’ve just always been. I feel like I am trying to win a race with my hands and feet tied together. Most people, even other fat people, do not understand. *sigh*
Seriously. When is it too much? How much more am I expected to deal with? There is no end in sight. I have to get down to 270lbs for a bmi of 40. Last time I was that weight…I was 12. TWELVE fucking years old.
I give up. For today, I give up. Maybe tomorrow will be better….if I make it through today.