Well my friends. I am 107lbs down from my highest and I am starting to feel a difference. In a weird way I feel like part of me is missing. I can’t explain it! It’s not regret or anything, it just feels like…I dunno….WEIRD! lol.
The sweatpants I am wearing are huge on me now. It’s exciting as most of my super fat clothes still “fit” and I say “fit” because at 640 nothing really fit me…but I wore it anyways. I never went out in public so it didn’t matter.
Which brings me to a new development. I made myself an eye appointment!!! Ok, so what’s the big deal? Right?? Well, here in England you can’t just park in front of businesses, you usually have to park in a public car park and walk to wherever you are going. Which meant I haven’t gone out to anywhere other than the Dr’s (and twice a fat club) in 3 years. Insanity. I felt like I had lost my personality and just became a blob of fat. Basically immobile and house bound took away my spirit. I was a caged bird, yet I did not sing. Well, that girl is GONE!!! I’m taking the bull by the horns and going to walk my happy fat ass to the eye dr and if people want to say shit about me FINE, let them say shit. I’m doing something with MY life-fuck them!
So lets see, what can I do now that I couldn’t? Personal hygiene is much much easier and I don’t need my husbands help.(embarrassing and humiliating), I can take off my bra by unhooking the back instead of taking it off like a shirt or having my husband help. I can stand for a few minutes at a time whereas at my highest I couldn’t stand for 10 seconds without shaking and getting out of breath. I can wear my jeans again which makes me feel more human and less fat blob. These are just the few things that come to mind.
On the note of embarrassing and humiliating…obesity is serious. It isn’t a matter of stuffing your face constantly and it isn’t a matter of being lazy. I never stood a chance! My situation was already a run away train. I’m not bitter about my past, because what can you do? All of my relatives are overweight and obese….it’s in my genes to be a big person so I don’t have my hopes up too much about ever being below 300lbs. To some of you that is disgusting and obscene. I’m sorry but life is too short to judge people so harshly so kindly fuck off.